AWAKEN: A photo book that explores a story oF healing
Caught in a haunting cycle of confusion, grief, and a desire for courage, I found myself struggling to rise above the expansive surface of such heavy emotions. Noble is the intention that prioritizes healing above comfort, yet in its glowing optimism this intention fails to fully anticipate its own reality of tear-filled nights and endless uncertainty. Out of this inescapable pain an enduring journey towards pleasure-filled life was born, and with it came my inspiration for AWAKEN. Woven into the threads of these pages is a visual letter to past, present, and future selves that has the ability to connect with the emotional consciousness in all of us.
MY STORY
this PROJECT
The Artists
My formative years were spent being seduced by the belief that sexual purity was paramount to a life of abundant blessing. When adulthood finally came knocking, I inevitably began to realize how many pieces were left missing. Finding that intimacy often pulled me out of my body and into a suffocating headspace, I started to question my relationship to the idea of sex and pleasure. I wanted to experience freedom. The artistic process of creating AWAKEN released energy from an intangible place. To this day, it holds a significant place in my healing process. It gave me permission to simply exist with my pain and confusion instead of seeking constant change. I’m grateful for the way this project offered avenues for expression and encouraged perseverance. I find myself recognizing freedom a little easier each time it appears.
I drew inspiration from the physical nature of my existence: the way quiet tears fell on my pillow, the sighs that brushed past my lips, and the stinging tension under my chest. Exploring these feelings through a creative process enabled me to step outside of my head and into a living, breathing space. I felt free. I became sensitive to how my body felt in moments of grief, anger, tranquility, and strength, embracing the perseverance of the heartbeat that drove my breath home. The photographs, paintings, and words in AWAKEN weave through these powerful emotions, pulling them into immersive artistry and creating a dynamic representation of healing. AWAKEN stands alone as an artistic endeavor while also being able to expand into something greater than itself. Creating a persuasive argument for self-discovery, it compels its audience to face their own vulnerabilities. My hope is that this book lives a unique story with each person who experiences its pages and offers respite from the loneliness that growth often leaves behind.
The artists who contributed their time and talent to this book have my heart’s fullest gratitude. Rachel’s abstract paintings are a beautiful combination of perfection and chaos: characteristics of any healing journey. It was a conversation with her that gave me the inspiration for this project in the first place. Hana, Meredith, and Alayna, modeled my vision to perfection and gave their stories as the inspiration behind the multiple letters you’ll find in AWAKEN. I’m so grateful for the way they brought their own vulnerabilities to our photoshoots, drawing similarities and differences between their stories and mine. Lillie and Dayson worked magic with the models’ interviews, using their own voices to craft letters addressed to the healing human in all of us. And finally, last but not least, Alison and Brea (Artemea) took time to write poetry that reflected my heart and fit seamlessly with the photographs. Their work pulled AWAKEN together into the cohesive blend of word and imagery that I had only dreamed of.
